A SpotsBug’s World

the breath of new life

I am very familiar with hospital waiting rooms – with all the years my father was in and out for one reason or another I was well rehearsed for Friday, July 18, 2008.  But this day was, by all accounts, a different hospital experience for my family.  This was a day of joy, a day to celebrate new life.  My brother, Jason, and his wife were expecting their first child, a daughter. 

I do not think I will ever forget Jason’s excitement nor the smile on his face as he stepped into the waiting room.  He was holding his wrist to show us his new pink hospital bracelet as he said, “She’s here!”  We all stood around him as he gushed over her and filled us in on all the details -and he just beamed.  I could see that something lit up inside my brother that day.  The breath of new life had replaced his often worried brow with tear-filled eyes and a happiness that I could never even begin to describe.  Little Kelsey had stolen her father’s heart.

In recent years my family has experienced so many life changing events.  We have all been through a great deal with my mother’s breast cancer to her hip replacement surgery and my father’s ongoing health issues which lead to his untimely death.  Somehow in the middle of all the turmoil our relationships with each other have become strained and distant.  This is something that years ago I would have never predicted for our family. 

But as we stood in the hallway waiting to get the first glimpse of our newest family member I could hear her crying.  The breath of new life from this sweet baby girl reminded me just how important all my family is to me.  She refreshed my outlook and provided the bridge to help close the gap between each of us.  She’s quite a powerful little girl and she doesn’t even know it. 

That’s not to say that all things are perfect, that all wounds are healed, or that all the hurt feelings can be completely swept into the past.  But she may just be that common thread that helps pull us all together again.  She may just be the breath of new life our family needs.

As I held her in my arms that afternoon I couldn’t believe my big brother was now a father.  I mean is this really the same person that used to wrestle me to the ground and tickle me until I would scream so loud that Mom would have to come intervene?  I suppose he is.  After all, when we were young he really was one of the best brothers a girl could have.  He would help me with my homework and, get this, let me tag along on his dates (really, he did).  I can see from my experiences that he will also be one of the best fathers a girl could have.  He was raised by two of the greatest parents and so I know his priorities and values are in the right place.       

But all this thinking about what kind of father he would make, I couldn’t help but wonder how much he missed our father on this day.  I know I did.  I thought about the sweet moment he has missed having his father there when he, himself, became a father.  What I would have given, if but for a moment, our dad could have held his granddaughter and that Jason could have had that moment.  As long as I live, every chance I get, little Kelsey will get to know all about her Grandpa.  I will make sure of that.

So with all that said, the next generation of our family has arrived.  She is the breath of new life that will hopefully soften our hearts and remind us all that family is family through the good and the bad.  She will remind us that life goes on.

“Every child begins the world again.” ~Henry David Thoreau

my spare minute

I seem to have been on a blogging hiatus recently.  Life has been very crazy the last couple of weeks and it hasn’t allowed much time for anything extra.  Heck, I’ve barely been able to get laundry finished in order to have clean clothes for each day.

In these couple of weeks, I’ve helped plan and host a wedding shower at work, attended a wedding, been sent to an all day training course for work, enjoyed a Bryan Adams concert, and celebrated my birthday.  I also helped welcome my new niece into this world.  An experience that I will describe in a separate post.

I think the wedding shower and wedding went very well.  My good friend Chris married his longtime girlfriend Julie.  Everyone seemed to have a good time at both occassions.  They are so sweet together and I wish them a marriage full of all the great things that life has to offer.

My coworker Robyn and I were sent to an all day training course on the new Intranet system that we got up and running back in March.  The instructor was extremely knowledgeable but had a difficult time conveying the concepts to the individuals in the class.  So I’m not sure exactly how much I ended up getting out of the class, but hopefully a few things he mentioned will stick with me and be helpful as I continue to build on the library’s Intranet.

On Saturday night, my friend Shea and I headed up the road to Charlotte to see one of my favorite all time performers/musicians, Bryan Adams.  We had so much fun just hanging out together.  I’ve known Shea since I was nine and so when we get together “we always end up on memory lane.”  We also enjoyed the simple pleasure of people watching at the concert – some interesting characters played a small part in our lives as we spotted the “orange girls” and the “air guitar guy.”  We also had a lovely, drunken couple sitting a few rows in front of us that danced to each ballad.  But Bryan Adams was TERRIFIC!!  He sounds just the same as he did when I saw him 15 years ago. 

And then I was fortunate to have my mother, boyfriend, and two other couples (Shea & Matt and Nick & Esther), help me celebrate my birthday.  I worked a half day, then went with my mother to visit my brand new niece.  After that, the gang went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and came back to my mother’s house for cake and presents.  I always have a great time with this group.  I am so lucky to have these people in my life.  People that I can always count on and that because of their differences make my life more interesting.  I think everyone had a good time – I know I did.  And I also received some very nice gifts which included a couple of photo albums (YAY!!), a rafting gift card (Chattooga – HERE I COME!!), roses, a new shirt and pair of pants, and an external hard drive (better for all those digital photos I take)… 

I have also continued my cat watching.  I have been able to pet the kittens a few more times, but only when they are distracted by food.  However, they do not seem to be scared of me anymore, just a little hesitant so we are making progress.  Since they’ve been visiting my home I’ve bought two new food bowls, created a little bed with an old towel, purchased two bags of cat food, and a couple of toys that they can play with.  So as much as I was fighting it I think I have some cats now – for better or worse.  Now I need to come up with names I suppose and think about vet visits for them.  I guess when I get another spare minute I can concentrate on that a little more.

And I know you were hoping I had forgotten, but I have my next 10 stress relievers ready for you (my comments in italics):

1. Find support from others – fortunately I have a great group of friends and several family members that are extremely supportive and encourage me every day.
2. Ask someone to be your “vent partner” – some days you may need more than one
3. Do it today – tell me what to do and I’ll do it
4. Work at being cheerful and optimistic – I have found that sometimes this truly is A LOT of work
5. Put safety first – I don’t know, sometimes being unconscious might be the only way you can find to relieve stress
6. Do everything in moderation – this includes eating
7. Pay attention to your appearance – unfortunately I cannot avoid the mirror, wish I could some days
8. Strive for excellence NOT perfection – I have a lot of trouble with this one
9. Stretch your limits a little each day – not your financial limits, this could lead to some severe credit debt and only cause more stress
10. Look at a work of art - really?? this relieves stress? not sure about this one 

Okay so I think this pretty well catches you up.  I will write about my niece in a later post.  Until then, I’m working on finding another spare minute.

stupid things and contact

This past week was a “back from vacation” week so I was expecting the usual craziness trying to catch up and get going again.  However, this week I’ve been all out of sorts. 

First I have spent all week trying to get our first digital collection up and running.  It seemed that every step I took forward brought with it new problems.  I’d get one thing working only to find that the very next thing wasn’t and then I’d spend an hour or so trying to figure it out.  I have managed to get the collection up but at the expense of my use of the administration panel that allows me to change most server, collection and item settings.  So this is my problem to figure out next week… why won’t it let me in now????

I also have done two very stupid things this week.  And at the risk of getting a little too personal, I’m going to tell you anyway, because its just sooooooo stupid.  So Tuesday I get up and go to work… I make a visit to the ladies’ room mid-morning where I come to find that I have put my underwear on inside out… okay so you probably really didn’t need to know that, but just how stupid am I????

I will quickly change the subject and tell you stupid thing #2 I have done this week.  A friend of mine was over at my house on Wednesday and sat in my back bedroom to watch as I fed the new cat and kittens that have decided to live in my backyard.  My computer is also in the back bedroom.  So later that night after my friend left, I went to the room to check email.  I didn’t turn the light on because I know this room and where everything is in it (or I thought I did).  As I reached to turn the monitor on I went to sit down at the same time… BAM!! I ended up on the floor.  My friend had moved the chair across the room and had not moved it back… there I lay in the dark on the floor thinking to myself “What just happened???”  I laid there for a minute or so and just laughed at myself, then dazed and confused got up and went to turn on the light.  Note to self: always be sure a chair is actually there before I sit down…

Okay so back to the cats… I have some news to report – I have made contact.  I was able to pet one of the kittens while it ate tonight.  It was brief but a step in the right direction.  Mama cat is still quite hesitant of me and the other kitten is warming up to me like its sibling.  Anyway, just thought I would relay information.  I’ll keep you posted.

And as my last thing tonight, I know you’ve been anxiously awaiting this…drumroll…. more stress relievers (my comments in italics):

1. Look up at the stars – actually this does help, I do this quite a lot
2. Practice breathing slowly – hummm, hummm, hummm
3. Learn to whistle a tune – this would be impossible for my mother, she can’t whistle
4. Listen to a symphony – depends on the symphony
5. Watch a ballet – I’d rather watch grass grow
6. Read a story curled up in bed – I’m a librarian that doesn’t like to read
7. Do a brand new thing – I love trying new things
8. Stop a bad habit – like tardiness???  aw shucks
9. Buy yourself a flower – not in this economy… little luxuries can be spared
10. Take time to smell a flower – and then sneeze from the amount of pollen that has built up on the petals…

You are half way through… bare with me… until next time, lets hope I don’t do any more stupid things.