A SpotsBug’s World

where have I been???

So it has been brought to my attention that I have not written in about a month.  First of all, I’m surprised to discover that there are more people reading this than I thought.  I pretty much figured I had only one loyal reader – my mother…

However, now that I realize there are more of you out there, I suppose I need to update a little more frequently.

So – where have I been???

Life has become super crazy the last couple of months and I don’t see it slowing down anytime soon.  Work has really picked up with several new projects, I’ve taken on a few new personal commitments that are taking extra time, and I’ve travelled.

I’ve been working on some database solutions at work.  And since I have no formal programming training it has been a long road of struggle for me.  But with persistence, I am slowly chipping away at the task one line of code at a time…

As mentioned in an earlier post I joined the church choir so that is taking up a little extra time each week.  I am enjoying it and we have started to work on the Christmas program (which will require some extra rehearsals above our standard Wednesday night).  I am also in the middle of a 9 week bible study that I’m taking with my mother.  This too has been an enjoyable experience and it is a spiritually challenging study, but again, it has been another thing to add to my schedule.

I have also travelled a little. 

I spent a couple of days in Charlotte for some Sharepoint training at the end of September.  While there I fit in a dinner with my sweet cousin who lives there now with her husband and adorable new kitten.  She shared with me the idea of potty training her kitten Sophie… hmmm, I told her to keep me updated on progress.  If successful, I’m wondering if that’s a realistic plan for my two little devils at home… Anyway, my cousin and I had fun spending some time together.

Last week I headed to Charleston for the Southeastern ContentDM Users Group meeting – sounds exciting right?  Actually it wasn’t so bad.  Always interesting to hear what others are working on, learn a few new things about the software that you might could implement on your own system, and network with people.  The bonus of this trip was that I was able to go down a day early with my mother and we spent about 36 hours exploring the great city that we used to call home.  It brought back all kinds of memories walking the historic streets with her.  We hit the aquarium and the market downtown, and shopped at the Tanger Outlets in the evening.  We also decided to take a nostalgic drive down memory lane which landed us on the street where we used to live.  The house where I spent much of my young childhood is always a treat to see.  It reminds me of where I came from and revives that little girl full of hopes and dreams that still lives within me.  That little house holds so many memories of days gone by.  Amazing how a person can form such an attachment to bricks and mortar.

So here I sit, currently in another hotel room in Atlanta awaiting the start of a conference that is focused on best practices for digitizing film and audio.  I arrived safely and found the hotel with no trouble.  However I realized quickly after checking in at the hotel that Atlanta is definitely not a place I’d want to live.  I got out and explored a bit and the traffic along with the one-way streets (those who know me know that one-way streets are my nemesis), all combine to create a city that I don’t believe I could be paid to live in.  What I thought would be a quick adventure down one street on the outskirts of the city to attempt to find dinner turned into a full tour of the downtown area as I got trapped with one-ways.  Round and round I went until I finally navigated back to the original street.  Who knew I would need a compass to venture out in Atlanta. 

I then returned to the hotel.  One that has probably already seen it’s best days – many years ago.  The room however, is a suite style room with a full kitchen, sitting area, etc…  I started settling in for the night only to have a set of blinds from one of the three windows completely dislodge and fall to the ground.  All I did was try to close them for some privacy – promise… I jumped clear across the room and then proceeded to laugh harder than I’ve laughed in quite some time.  All alone in an unfamiliar city with those cursed one-way streets and a window gaping open for all the world to see.  So here I am typing and staring at a jumbled pile of wooden slats laying in the floor.  Glad I’m on the third floor with only trees outside that window.  I suppose I’ll notify the hotel at some point in the very near future. 

Anyway, I’ll be glad to return home in a few days.  I do like to get out and explore, but it’s always nice to return home.  My travel isn’t over however, in a few short weeks I will jet off to Texas to visit some friends.  No work on this trip thank goodness, just good times with good people.  I’m very excited for this visit with everyone.  I know it will be lots of fun.

Well, that’s where I’ve been for the last month.  I’ll try to do better here, wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone… ha ha…

this is my life

My birthday week kicked off on Tuesday when my mom made her special birthday beef stew for dinner.  You see, I love my mother’s beef stew and having it for a birthday meal sometime around my birthday has been a tradition now going on 15 years or so.  It was delicious and she’s so sweet to want to make it every year for me.  Of course, we have it other times throughout the year, but I know that this special batch timed around my special day each year has a little extra love in it just for me.

On Wednesday I enjoyed a lunch with one of my closest friends at my favorite Thai restaurant.  We chatted about life and work, me turning 30 and we started planning some activities to do together in the fall.  I love her and cherish our friendship so much.

Then the big day arrived, Thursday was the day I turned 30.  I didn’t go to work so I was able to sleep in and have a leisurely morning.  My mother joked about not calling too early to allow me to sleep and asked when it was “safe” to call.  Around 10 a.m. I received a phone call from her wanting to be the first to wish me a happy birthday.  She was.  I got ready and went to her house around noon.  We had made plans to meet my brother downtown for lunch at a local sandwich shop.  Shockingly he had agreed to join us.  It was a nice meal and a good time with just my mom and brother which hasn’t happened in a long time.  Next up was a movie and then milkshakes.  Mom and I decided to treat ourselves for the day.  I mean you only turn 30 once right?  (In reality, you only turn any age once, but it was a nice excuse anyway).  Then back to Mom’s for a few presents.  She had gotten me one of my favorite movies, a new CD by an artist I really like and a cute little book with sweet and funny birthday quotations in it.  She had also made my favorite, a homemade chocolate cake.  The final activity of the day was dinner with Mom and my on-again, off-again boyfriend at my favorite Italian restaurant.  (Are you sensing a theme yet that my birthday revolves around food?)  It was a great dinner which included the waitress bringing out a free dessert for my birthday.  The slice of chocolate cake was enormous and plenty for three people and then some.  But it was still warm and delicious.  Just the perfect way to end the evening.  I managed to turn 30 and not have any traumatic event take place, no arguments with anyone, my body didn’t fall apart from old age, nothing… I would say that it was a good day.

On Friday I did nothing.  I had planned on having at least one lazy day during my long birthday weekend and so it was Friday.  I stayed in my pajamas all day, ate leftovers from all my great meals, had some birthday cake, played with the kittens and watched movies.  Lovely!

Saturday was another wonderful birthday celebration.  Mom had traded in the usual tradition of several smaller gifts for one large gift in the form of a party to celebrate my 30th birthday.  We know each other so well that she would have had difficulty making the party a surprise, but it was great just the same.  However, there was a  surprise after all and it came when I walked through the door of our church fellowship hall and found that my mother had set up several tables worth of photos and memorabilia representing my life.  I felt like it was a “This is Your Life” moment.  I walked across the room and looked over the tables where my old girl scout uniforms were hanging, the dress I came home from the hospital was laying along with my birth announcement and hospital bracelet, my first book bag was sitting out, a photo album containing memories of my childhood was open, announcements from graduations were set in front of graduation pictures, and many, many photos of me with those I have loved most in my life.  My mom included most everything I’ve done over my last 30 years (at least everything she still had at her house – she later commented she wished she hadn’t let me take so much stuff to my house when I moved out several years ago).  She had my grandparents and other family members with me, friends, even the cats that have been a part of my life.  I’m not an outwardly emotional person usually but seeing this overwhelming display my mom had created and then spotting, in the middle of these precious items, a couple of pictures of my father holding me at the hospital 30 years ago, I couldn’t help it, it brought a knot to my throat and a few tears to my eyes.  Oh how I miss him and wished he could have been here for this…

After I recovered from that incredible surprise, the guests started arriving.  One by one they came through the door and I simply felt honored by their attendance.  Each one holds a special place in my heart.  Uncles and aunts, cousins, former neighbors, coworker friends, my youth discipleship leader, childhood friends, my brother and my precious niece (who turned one only five days before my birthday) all were there and all mean so much to me.  All in all, around 40 people came.  It was such a blessing to have them in one room for one night.  I was actually fighting back tears of joy for most of the evening – again, completely unlike me.  I had wanted to say a few words about how much they all meant to me and how blessed I feel to know each of them, how much they have each added to my life and thank them for all of their support, love, and friendship all these years… but the words just wouldn’t come.  In the wake of emotion I couldn’t get the words out and I also forgot to thank publicly the most important person in the room, my mother, for all of her hard work putting the party together.  I know it took a lot of time, effort, money and patience to pull it all into place and I am so grateful to have a mother that wanted to do it.  I am so lucky.  It was a wonderful night.

As I’ve thought about that evening since, I’ve realized something, not that I didn’t already know this but it has just been impressed upon me again through this event.  But its those people who make my life what it is.  It isn’t the stuff I buy or what I have, it isn’t the job I’m in or how many people look up to me, it isn’t power or money or hobbies… it is simply people.  It is who I let into my life, who I allow to grab hold of a piece of my heart so I can carry them with me always.  These special individuals that I laugh with and cry with, that I talk to, that I share memories with, that I let teach me things and open me up to experiences and interests… these people, both now and the ones that have already passed on, well, they are my life -  This is My Life.

cough, cough, cough

For the last week the only thing I’ve done is cough…  my sides, stomach and back is so sore from the constant hacking that has kept me up to all hours of the night and day.  I now know how insomniacs feel when sleepiness takes over the body but something holds you back from peaceful slumber. Each moment right when I’ve been about to fall deep into dreamland a cough would strike and totally disrupt the moment.

I have missed five days of work and a weekend due to this insane disorder I’ve had.  And believe it or not, I’m still coughing.  Though not to the severe level as before, but still coughing nonetheless.

What’s so strange is that I don’t have tremendous congestion.  Sure my ears feel a little closed up and my throat feels like a brillo pad is stuck in it, but aside from a little scratchiness and pressure in my head, nothing really significant.  At least not significant enough to warrant all the coughing – at least in my opinion.

My mother has been the loving, generous caregiver she always is and brought dinner to me several times over the course of my seemingly neverending illness.  She is amazing and I take her for granted so often.

I’m still coughing regularly, but today is the first day I’ve actually been able to sit in stillness for more than 10 minutes at a time without the threat of another attack of jarring upheavals.  My head still feels like I’m inside a tunnel or a box, but hopefully as the small amount of congestion continues to breakdown this will also get better.

For now, I’m off to cough some more…