Life after a breakup can be hard.  It is a readjustment to life.  It is the feeling that when you went into the relationship you were a whole person but somehow coming back out of it you are only a half.  He became my other half and I miss that half. 

But slowly and surely I am recovering.  I’ve shed a few tears, had my angry thoughts, dreamt about what could have been and I now find myself beginning to come out on the other side.  Not to say that I can get over it in just a few short weeks, I mean it was 4 1/2 years of my life, but I know life goes on and I must go with it.

It is a strange thought that someone who has been so close and with whom I’ve shared so much for so many years will no longer be around – or at least not to the capacity that he was before.  No more Friday night movies or morning phone calls.  No more workday emails or saying just the right thing to make me smile at the end of a bad day.  But I know at some point in the future the reason for this will become quite clear.  Someday I’ll realize that there is something/someone else meant for me. 

When that moment arrives, I’ll look back on this relationship as a learning experience.  It will always be a moment in time that God put us together intentionally to face the difficulties of those years together.  This relationship is something I had to go through in order for Him to get me to be where He wants me to be.

But until that time comes, I’m trying to remember what life was like before the relationship.  I’m spending more time with friends and family (I thank the Lord for these people).  These individuals have gone out of their way to make sure that my social calendar remains full and they are ever ready with a listening ear.  I appreciate their love and care through this.  As always, I can count on them – they never let me down.

As for him, I wish him the best that life has to offer.  He is a wonderful man with a tremendous heart.  Unfortunately it seemed to be the walls around that heart that I could not break through.  I do hope he finds what he is looking for.

Tuesday was my mother’s 59th birthday! She’s probably hating that I’m sharing this information with you but I feel it is worth mentioning. So yes, she is now staring down the barrel at 60 which I’m sure for her is coming faster than she cares for it to.

But for now she is settling into being 59. Yes, I repeated her age again… she’s probably going to kill me, this may be my last post ever…

Anyway, aside from sharing some time with me for dinner, she received two special birthday presents, one from Mother Nature and one from our country.

The first was our minor snow event that for a few hours covered the ground in a perfect, glowing blanket of white and the roads in a slick, glassy sheet of ice. It was enough to close down schools, daycares, and government buildings. Though she eventually went into work that afternoon, she was able to have a little bit more of a leisurely morning than usual and so I assume that having that was a nice gift.

The second, and probably not as good (in my opinion), was a new president. President Barack Obama was sworn in at 12:04 pm on my mother’s birthday. And while I know she is just thrilled about that (not) I figure it was worth mentioning.

I tend to be a cynical thinker when it comes to politics. Whether a politician is Republican, Democrat, Independent, Green, or Libertarian, or whether they are black, white, Hisplanic, Asian or any other ethnicity, it really doesn’t make any difference to me. Honestly, no matter who they are I feel like you can only believe half of what any of them say anyway.

I will pray for President Obama as I have for our past presidents and I truly hope that he can make the differences he has promised. But the cynical side of me tends to think that the celebration, joy, and unity will be short lived and that disappointment and frustration will soon find us again. Once he starts actually making tough decisions and having to follow through on them, the American public will turn on him just as we have before in previous administrations. I may be wrong and I hope I am, but I’ll have to wait and see.

I got a little sidetracked… back to my mother’s 59th birthday… oops, I mentioned the age thing again… despite that some of our plans were derailed due to the weather and will have to take place another day, I think she had a good day. I hope so. She deserves it. Happy Birthday again Mom! I love you!