the best laid plans…

It is with a sad heart that I write to tell you all that I have ended a 4 1/2 year relationship with my boyfriend.  It was mutual and amicable, but it turns out that he wants different things. 

I was ready to begin building our lives and family together – he simply was not.

I must say though that no matter what life brings he will always remain a special person to me.  He has been beside me through some of the toughest moments of my life.  I mean, we had only been dating for a little over two months when my mother was diagnosed with cancer.  I will never forget how he was there to listen and help with anything my family needed.  By providing such support to me he gave me the ability to be stronger for my mother and family.

Unfortunately, the difficulties did not stop there.  My father’s health started to decline at a rapid pace which led to his untimely death in 2006.  Again, my boyfriend was there with open arms and an open heart.  He stood with me through funeral planning, days of unbelievable grief, and was always ready to greet me with a smile to help me through the roughest times.

For these things, among countless other generosities, he will always have a small piece of my heart.  But I have to recognize now that the plans I had, the foundation I thought we were building, the life I thought was before us – simply is not going to happen. 

It has been several days since we parted ways and while each day brings its own set of emotions, I know I will be fine.  I know in my heart that if it had been meant to be, it would have been.  And I realize that sometimes the best laid plans are not actually the best plans.  I just have to remember to trust that God has the ultimate plan for my life and know that He will continue to guide me and reveal my path to me in His timing.    

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.  ~ Joseph Campbell

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