say what we need to say

We’ve all been in situations where we’ve held back what we really wanted to say.  I know I do this and for a multitude of reasons.  Sometimes its because the fear of rejection sneaks up and catches me in a weak moment and then other times it may just be because I don’t feel its my place to comment.  For whatever the reason, I often find that my pride and frustration take over and I decide to speak louder with my actions.  Avoidance, grumpiness, and glaring looks become my way of dealing with certain people and situations.  This is usually a result of me feeling as though I’m not able to say what I need to say. 

This has happened recently and how I wish I could tell this person how much he’s hurt our family – but I don’t.  We’ve “talked” about the issues before, we all know what they are, but nothing is ever done.  No problems are ever fixed, no gaps are ever bridged.  I used to be more open and communicative, but my pleas have gone unanswered, my opinions and thoughts ignored.  Because of this, I have found myself hurt on one too many occassions and therefore decided in recent years that avoidance is my best defense. 

But this isn’t good enough.  Because it should work, our relationship should work.  The relationship should be easy and open instead of becoming such a horrible imposition on everyone involved.  So much has happened in the past it is hard to overcome.  But how can we overcome it if we are unwilling to talk about it.  And we have to be willing to talk about it without accusation or anger.  We have to be able to say what we need to say…  I think only then can we begin to heal and move forward.  

Excerpts from “Say”
by John Mayer

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems
Better put them in quotations

Say what you need to say…

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead
If you could only

Say what you need to say…

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Than never to say what you need to say

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say
Say what you need to say…

2 thoughts on “say what we need to say

  1. hey kiddo. i kinda get where you’re coming from. i think we both know how hurt dad was with the whole brian thing. and now he’s trying to mend fences with grandma. i hope it works out, but you know, some bridges can’t be rebuilt after they’re burned. the only advice i can give is prayer. love ya girl.

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