a spot of thankfulness

I’ve been feeling a little run down lately.  Drained by the heat and the drought I suppose.  But I’ve found that also suffering is my attitude.  My attitude towards people and situations.  I tend to do this from time to time as I’m sure others do as well.  I get a little down and out – not necessarily to the point of depression, just kind of blah about the daily happenings of life.  I become more easily agitated and bothered by people and I rediscover that my father’s temper is still alive and well with me. 

For me this change usually starts because of one of a handful of reasons. 

First possibility is that my thyroid medication is off and the side affects of my non-functioning gland wreak havoc on my system causing my hair to fall out, me to feel tired and cranky all the time, and many, many other things I won’t go into now that no one would ever suspect is controlled by the thyroid.  I always hate to use this medical condition as an excuse, but unfortunately, there is some truth to how much control it has over me. 

Second possibility is that I’ve gotten myself into a rut.  My life becomes too dependent on routine and I don’t allow myself the freedom to go outside my comfort zone to experience new and different things.  Boredom sets in and negative thoughts start to enter my poor, confused brain.

Third possibility is that I’ve had a friend or family member disappoint or hurt me in one way or another and I (lacking better judgement) allow it to creep into my thoughts and emotions.  Simply dwelling on the fact that I’ve been hurt or someone hasn’t lived up to my (often times too high) expectations can send me into a downward spiral faster than I care to admit.

My current state of mind I think is now being influenced a little by all three of the items listed above.  I have made a visit to the doctor so hopefully my new prescription will help my thyroid and in turn, help me feel better.  And I feel that if I am more energized by the new prescription than I will tend to find some new and exciting activities to partake in.  And lately, I’ve had a great deal of disappointment from one family member in particular.  All I can do with that situation is try not to dwell so hard on it, keep my wits about me, and pray really, really hard that God can move the mountain.  Because only He can in this situation.

This all got me thinking though about what else can I do to improve my attitude.  How can I be more proactive instead of reactive?  So I have this crazy idea.  I think in order to turn my attitude from negative thoughts that focus on what I don’t have, what I’m not doing, how others have hurt me… maybe I should refocus on all the blessings I do have, what I am doing with my life, and how fortunate I am to have people in my life who love and care about me.  Maybe I should simply be thankful.

So today I am starting to refocus and be thankful for all the good things in my life and all the lessons I learn from the not-so-good things.  I’m going to start writing a “Spot of Thankfulness” when I’m feeling down and out or feeling thankful or just feel like I need to share.

So for my first “Spot of Thankfulness” I feel I must start with a person who has seen me through all of my up and down days.  She’s been the one person in my life who consistently supports me in everything I do and always encourages my thoughts, ideas, and dreams.  I could never begin to express the level of gratitude I have for my wonderful, crazy, sweet, loving mother.  No matter what life brings, I know she will always be the dependable rock that provides the foundation to my life.  Thank you Mom for all of the wonderful things you do and for all the wonderful things you are.   

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